My first husband's issues started before he was born with multiple generations of male cheaters in his household with his sisters doing the husband-hopping long before I met him. When it's overlooked and ignored as commonplace in the household, the children will copy the parent's & sibling's behavior and genuinely don't know how to be loyal.
For your book, I truly believe that some men have no choice as this is the way they were raised (United Kingdom for my ex, but mostly seen with Italians and areas of Europe where multiple partners and prostitutes are more accepted).
He's currently on wife #5? Mistress #?,??? now, latest wife being smart enough to get pregnant to get him away from her best friend during their marriage (that silly "sign" of a new lease on life men seem to fall for no matter what intelligence level).
It's simply acceptable in some cultures. And, unfortunately, in America, we are beginning to make it accpetable as well. Most women's magazines have a poll nearly every year about men/infidelity...most come back OVER the "95% of men cheat" range.
Been this way since the beginning of time. Believe it will always be this way. Doesn't stop all women hoping to get one of the less than 10% ones that actually don't cheat (but, then there's typically a problem with their performance or dramatic abuse to the way they take care of themselves).
My first husband's issues started before he was born with multiple generations of male cheaters in his household with his sisters doing the husband-hopping long before I met him. When it's overlooked and ignored as commonplace in the household, the children will copy the parent's & sibling's behavior and genuinely don't know how to be loyal.
For your book, I truly believe that some men have no choice as this is the way they were raised (United Kingdom for my ex, but mostly seen with Italians and areas of Europe where multiple partners and prostitutes are more accepted).
He's currently on wife #5? Mistress #?,??? now, latest wife being smart enough to get pregnant to get him away from her best friend during their marriage (that silly "sign" of a new lease on life men seem to fall for no matter what intelligence level).
It's simply acceptable in some cultures. And, unfortunately, in America, we are beginning to make it accpetable as well. Most women's magazines have a poll nearly every year about men/infidelity...most come back OVER the "95% of men cheat" range.
Been this way since the beginning of time. Believe it will always be this way. Doesn't stop all women hoping to get one of the less than 10% ones that actually don't cheat (but, then there's typically a problem with their performance or dramatic abuse to the way they take care of themselves).
Hi there,we only ask what your thinking to confirm what we KNOW is going on,women's intuition is a very annoying DON for men,Sorry men are very simple beings because they are so predictable.Very few of them have any respect for any thing that is not themselves.They can't be true even to their own shadows.
Hi there,we only ask what your thinking to confirm what we KNOW is going on,women's intuition is a very annoying DON for men,Sorry men are very simple beings because they are so predictable.Very few of them have any respect for any thing that is not themselves.They can't be true even to their own shadows.
When I was 18 my father took me to Thailand....a bit awkward as I boarded a bus full of men in their 30 s and 40's from around the world who where on their way to Patya Beach for sex. My father was 38 and their for the same reasons...everyone thought we were lovers..but he was my father who walked with me and talked to me as we passed man after man after man...and he told me why these men were there and he made me sit with his lovers in the morning...and he told me how important it was to learn how to master the art of pleasure.... As harsh as this story may sound, it is mine and never have I had a man cheat on me becuase I learned early that as a woman we are the Seductress and it is an honorable noble position. Wathc a Lioness who hunts for her male. Shiva holds the space while Shakti dances. Loose your egos and rise in Mastery as a Goddess and this topci will no longer exist!!
When I was 18 my father took me to Thailand....a bit awkward as I boarded a bus full of men in their 30 s and 40's from around the world who where on their way to Patya Beach for sex. My father was 38 and their for the same reasons...everyone thought we were lovers..but he was my father who walked with me and talked to me as we passed man after man after man...and he told me why these men were there and he made me sit with his lovers in the morning...and he told me how important it was to learn how to master the art of pleasure.... As harsh as this story may sound, it is mine and never have I had a man cheat on me becuase I learned early that as a woman we are the Seductress and it is an honorable noble position. Wathc a Lioness who hunts for her male. Shiva holds the space while Shakti dances. Loose your egos and rise in Mastery as a Goddess and this topci will no longer exist!!
Hello everyone.... I am back on the site after a 1 1/2 year hiatus. I am amazed that you all have kept this blog alive and running since I left. I see we've had over 7,000 views. Wow.
Why Men Cheat is a topic which has drawn much controversy and chatter... the topic seems to really hit a nerve. Perhaps because it causes so much pain.
It hurts to be cheated on. To be betrayed. But there is another side to the topic.... the WHY.
Let's continue to explore the topic in detail and discover the answers together.
Marc Holland
Hello everyone.... I am back on the site after a 1 1/2 year hiatus. I am amazed that you all have kept this blog alive and running since I left. I see we've had over 7,000 views. Wow.
Why Men Cheat is a topic which has drawn much controversy and chatter... the topic seems to really hit a nerve. Perhaps because it causes so much pain.
It hurts to be cheated on. To be betrayed. But there is another side to the topic.... the WHY.
Let's continue to explore the topic in detail and discover the answers together.
Hello W. i agree with you..men and women cheat..it is human nature...some times they need to feel full filled and need attention or simply they need fun time...so they cheat...men mostly cheat because of insecurity and lack of self esteem...
Julie
Quoting wwww12345
Maslow does indeed have part of the answer, but not all.
If you look at nature, you will find that almost all species cheat, males and females. Cheating provided genetic diversity, which is good for the species. Thus, to not cheat is actually going against what is natural and built in as a survival of the species instinct.
Quoting wwww12345
Maslow does indeed have part of the answer, but not all.
If you look at nature, you will find that almost all species cheat, males and females. Cheating provided genetic diversity, which is good for the species. Thus, to not cheat is actually going against what is natural and built in as a survival of the species instinct.
Hello W. i agree with you..men and women cheat..it is human nature...some times they need to feel full filled and need attention or simply they need fun time...so they cheat...men mostly cheat because of insecurity and lack of self esteem...
'EGO' is a problem of both men and women. Unconditional love is rare...man has evolved from other beings of the past and instincts cannot be suppressed. Some men that cheat are good men others evil men...but who is to blame?
'EGO' is a problem of both men and women. Unconditional love is rare...man has evolved from other beings of the past and instincts cannot be suppressed. Some men that cheat are good men others evil men...but who is to blame?
So far every response has ignored the topic that you wanted up for discussion: whether men cheat to fulfill frail egos. Yes, I am a great listener (& apparently a great reader!). I don't believe the male ego is frail. In fact, most men I meet or have met have huge egos that they seem to fulfill regularly to keep it strong. Sure, the ego can be cut to the quick making it fragile, but I don't think that's why men cheat.
In my opinion, men who cheat are not men at all, they are little boys who have not grown up. They are people who did not evolve with very high morals, values, principles, respect for themselves or others, period. In some cases, maybe they were raised to believe cheating is acceptable, as is the case in many foreign countries. I am a Loyal Leo who is all heart. I believe most cheaters (male or female) have no heart. I am wrtiing a book too (1 of several). Maybe you'd like to visit me in South Beach & we can commiserate. If so, please e-mail me. All the Best ;)
So far every response has ignored the topic that you wanted up for discussion: whether men cheat to fulfill frail egos. Yes, I am a great listener (& apparently a great reader!). I don't believe the male ego is frail. In fact, most men I meet or have met have huge egos that they seem to fulfill regularly to keep it strong. Sure, the ego can be cut to the quick making it fragile, but I don't think that's why men cheat.
In my opinion, men who cheat are not men at all, they are little boys who have not grown up. They are people who did not evolve with very high morals, values, principles, respect for themselves or others, period. In some cases, maybe they were raised to believe cheating is acceptable, as is the case in many foreign countries. I am a Loyal Leo who is all heart. I believe most cheaters (male or female) have no heart. I am wrtiing a book too (1 of several). Maybe you'd like to visit me in South Beach & we can commiserate. If so, please e-mail me. All the Best ;)
VivaChau write: According to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs in "A Theory of Human Motivation, physiological needs, such as, food, water, sex, etc.. are at the bottom of the ladder, love is at the third level, and the top is self actualization, a state in which one could accept and denounce of material things to be free or to be closer to God.
If men/women love someone and could not be loyal to the person, then perhaps, the issue here is not whether they are at fault or not but where we are in Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. We really cannot expect someone who is still trying to satisfy their physiological needs to love us when one has to be secure first with safety and physiological needs first.
We should not wallow in self pity or feeling hurt because someone is not ready or share the same sentiment with us about love in its higher order. If someone is lusting for us and uses the word love to express his or her feelings, then at best it is only lust, a transient moment. Should we wait for them to change in the name of love? Well, we could, but who among us could change overnight? Is it possible to expect someone to reach the love level when he or she is still trying to satisfy their physiological needs?
Maslow does indeed have part of the answer, but not all.
If you look at nature, you will find that almost all species cheat, males and females. Cheating provided genetic diversity, which is good for the species. Thus, to not cheat is actually going against what is natural and built in as a survival of the species instinct.
Re:
VivaChau write: According to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs in "A Theory of Human Motivation, physiological needs, such as, food, water, sex, etc.. are at the bottom of the ladder, love is at the third level, and the top is self actualization, a state in which one could accept and denounce of material things to be free or to be closer to God.
If men/women love someone and could not be loyal to the person, then perhaps, the issue here is not whether they are at fault or not but where we are in Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. We really cannot expect someone who is still trying to satisfy their physiological needs to love us when one has to be secure first with safety and physiological needs first.
We should not wallow in self pity or feeling hurt because someone is not ready or share the same sentiment with us about love in its higher order. If someone is lusting for us and uses the word love to express his or her feelings, then at best it is only lust, a transient moment. Should we wait for them to change in the name of love? Well, we could, but who among us could change overnight? Is it possible to expect someone to reach the love level when he or she is still trying to satisfy their physiological needs?
Maslow does indeed have part of the answer, but not all.
If you look at nature, you will find that almost all species cheat, males and females. Cheating provided genetic diversity, which is good for the species. Thus, to not cheat is actually going against what is natural and built in as a survival of the species instinct.
I don't if some of you might remember a song called "The Clean Up Woman." But, the premise is that a women may push a man out then another woman comes along and snatches him up.
I've just kinda figured this out. I dated a guy and another woman got in his ear and they started "cheating" emotionally. I felt him pulling away and broke up with him, next thing I know she is engaged to him!
So, I think women have to pay attention to a man's emotional as well as other needs and make sure she is the one meeting them. Otherwise, the clean up woman will get him.
Hello All,
I don't if some of you might remember a song called "The Clean Up Woman." But, the premise is that a women may push a man out then another woman comes along and snatches him up.
I've just kinda figured this out. I dated a guy and another woman got in his ear and they started "cheating" emotionally. I felt him pulling away and broke up with him, next thing I know she is engaged to him!
So, I think women have to pay attention to a man's emotional as well as other needs and make sure she is the one meeting them. Otherwise, the clean up woman will get him.
Monk I would love to read your. But let me say this why do men cheat? there is no one reason, Some of the finest men do. Why because in their life something is mission friendship, passion, just being able to let go and be who they truly are. So many of our mates will do any thing to get us but once the chase is over, look out it is time for them to feel they have to mold us into there perfection's not only that some of our spouse's are lead to believe this is what's best for them so much that they totally lose who they are!! Cheating is bad word. I know so many women who husbands that will do anything for them and yes there love is strong but at the same time I seen men walk off with their head tucked because this woman dose not have the passion for life ,sex become distant and they just go threw the motions, instead they should take this man and have fun what happen to that? run around the house naked or something, yes men cheat and so do women when he we feel no one xcan see us anymore that life is just routine and small augments with no compassion yes they cheat. Now there are real dogs out there and I wont get into that ,but don't be so hard on the good man that dose he may just love his other partner too but just trapped into losing what he has worked dearly for all his life that has to be the hard part knowing someone is better suited for you and know you can never have this person and eventually they walk away because you have made a choice to stay with the wife/husband when there is another out there! so yes we cheat but I call breaking free I understand completely not that it is right but I understand . Happiness comes with a very high price tag some times
Monk I would love to read your. But let me say this why do men cheat? there is no one reason, Some of the finest men do. Why because in their life something is mission friendship, passion, just being able to let go and be who they truly are. So many of our mates will do any thing to get us but once the chase is over, look out it is time for them to feel they have to mold us into there perfection's not only that some of our spouse's are lead to believe this is what's best for them so much that they totally lose who they are!! Cheating is bad word. I know so many women who husbands that will do anything for them and yes there love is strong but at the same time I seen men walk off with their head tucked because this woman dose not have the passion for life ,sex become distant and they just go threw the motions, instead they should take this man and have fun what happen to that? run around the house naked or something, yes men cheat and so do women when he we feel no one xcan see us anymore that life is just routine and small augments with no compassion yes they cheat. Now there are real dogs out there and I wont get into that ,but don't be so hard on the good man that dose he may just love his other partner too but just trapped into losing what he has worked dearly for all his life that has to be the hard part knowing someone is better suited for you and know you can never have this person and eventually they walk away because you have made a choice to stay with the wife/husband when there is another out there! so yes we cheat but I call breaking free I understand completely not that it is right but I understand . Happiness comes with a very high price tag some times
According to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs in "A Theory of Human Motivation, physiological needs, such as, food, water, sex, etc.. are at the bottom of the ladder, love is at the third level, and the top is self actualization, a state in which one could accept and denounce of material things to be free or to be closer to God.
If men/women love someone and could not be loyal to the person, then perhaps, the issue here is not whether they are at fault or not but where we are in Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. We really cannot expect someone who is still trying to satisfy their physiological needs to love us when one has to be secure first with safety and physiological needs first.
We should not wallow in self pity or feeling hurt because someone is not ready or share the same sentiment with us about love in its higher order. If someone is lusting for us and uses the word love to express his or her feelings, then at best it is only lust, a transient moment. Should we wait for them to change in the name of love? Well, we could, but who among us could change overnight? Is it possible to expect someone to reach the love level when he or she is still trying to satisfy their physiological needs?
According to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs in "A Theory of Human Motivation, physiological needs, such as, food, water, sex, etc.. are at the bottom of the ladder, love is at the third level, and the top is self actualization, a state in which one could accept and denounce of material things to be free or to be closer to God.
If men/women love someone and could not be loyal to the person, then perhaps, the issue here is not whether they are at fault or not but where we are in Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. We really cannot expect someone who is still trying to satisfy their physiological needs to love us when one has to be secure first with safety and physiological needs first.
We should not wallow in self pity or feeling hurt because someone is not ready or share the same sentiment with us about love in its higher order. If someone is lusting for us and uses the word love to express his or her feelings, then at best it is only lust, a transient moment. Should we wait for them to change in the name of love? Well, we could, but who among us could change overnight? Is it possible to expect someone to reach the love level when he or she is still trying to satisfy their physiological needs?
Certainly, girl, one does not have to maintain a relationship with ongoing issue like this. Just don't become murderous about it and turn into a d..k chopper. Sex is like food. Why one keeps tasting new things. If you are dealing with the one with a big appetite just look at him/her and make up your mind. This is bigger then our ability to reason. Now, love is too, not something you create and handle using your head. It comes and goes, and one has to have a big enough heart to hold it. If not, it will evaporate pretty quick. It has to enter your blood and run in your veins. And.... trust. It is part of love. The more you trust the more you are going to be hurt. Eventually you will learn, not to be distrustful,though, I hope, but make a right choice. You will have an insight. The ones who never trust are fools. They can never love. They come empty handed, live empty handed and disappear into nothingness empty handed, just a bunch of baggers asking another baggers to deliver happiness. What a waste of a human life. One is happy when one knows from the experience, not assumes digging into all kinds of theories and philosophy . Love, trust and you will see clear to make a right choice one day.
Certainly, girl, one does not have to maintain a relationship with ongoing issue like this. Just don't become murderous about it and turn into a d..k chopper. Sex is like food. Why one keeps tasting new things. If you are dealing with the one with a big appetite just look at him/her and make up your mind. This is bigger then our ability to reason. Now, love is too, not something you create and handle using your head. It comes and goes, and one has to have a big enough heart to hold it. If not, it will evaporate pretty quick. It has to enter your blood and run in your veins. And.... trust. It is part of love. The more you trust the more you are going to be hurt. Eventually you will learn, not to be distrustful,though, I hope, but make a right choice. You will have an insight. The ones who never trust are fools. They can never love. They come empty handed, live empty handed and disappear into nothingness empty handed, just a bunch of baggers asking another baggers to deliver happiness. What a waste of a human life. One is happy when one knows from the experience, not assumes digging into all kinds of theories and philosophy . Love, trust and you will see clear to make a right choice one day.
Haven't you finished that book yet, you're as bad as me and my screenplay...
Well... I just popped in for a minute to visit some old friends...
But.. if you feel a strong mental connection, along with the physical... That is good ground for a True Love relationship to BLOOM... ; D awh... but hard to find ! ~
Hey monk...
Haven't you finished that book yet, you're as bad as me and my screenplay...
Well... I just popped in for a minute to visit some old friends...
But.. if you feel a strong mental connection, along with the physical... That is good ground for a True Love relationship to BLOOM... ; D awh... but hard to find ! ~
its too bad i didnt save my reply. Otherwise i would continuously post it. Whats wrong with the truth millionaire match? THere was none of the four issues you kindly have up there of"what not to post". I didnt violate any of those terms. I will from now on save my replies on bloggers to see if you eliminate honesty.
And the men who do cheat have lack of morals, values and respect, cause if they possessed respect, Cheating wouldnt occur, it would only be a thought or a little bit of imagination, and ladies if a man cant imagine you being universal to him pleasing to him mentally and physically then sorry...you will eventually lose it.
its too bad i didnt save my reply. Otherwise i would continuously post it. Whats wrong with the truth millionaire match? THere was none of the four issues you kindly have up there of"what not to post". I didnt violate any of those terms. I will from now on save my replies on bloggers to see if you eliminate honesty.
And the men who do cheat have lack of morals, values and respect, cause if they possessed respect, Cheating wouldnt occur, it would only be a thought or a little bit of imagination, and ladies if a man cant imagine you being universal to him pleasing to him mentally and physically then sorry...you will eventually lose it.
